One Last Secret
by Nerwen Aldarion
Summary: Tag for the Series finale. How Lisbon found out and kept the secret for so long. MAJOR SPOILERS


Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: I can't believe my favorite show has ended but MAN that was one AMAZING finale. I got everything I wanted and more, no complaints whatsoever. But of course I had to write a tag (and probably will write more tags) over it.

I think I deserve an award for this though. I'm currently at the American Academy of Forensic Science conference in Orlando. So guess what I did? I FAKED a migraine so I cold go to my hotel early so I wouldn't miss the finale. Then I typed this fic out lickiety split, hurried over tot he lobby because that is the only place my hotel has internet so I could post.

So basically...I love you guys. And even though this show has reached it's end...my fanfiction definitely will not. I still have so many ideas for you guys I can't imagine ever stopping.

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One Last Secret

When he walked away from her at the funeral it had been like a punch to the gut, but not entirely unexpected. He'd run away before, many times in fact, but it still hurt every single time. But this was worse since they had been together for months now, he knew she loved him; he had every reason to stay.

But he didn't.

So she'd gone home which was unusual since she'd been spending more and more time at Jane's airstream of late. She'd gone home and lay in her bed to pour her heart out in her grief. Lisbon normally didn't cry but there hadn't been any helping it this time. She cried for Michelle who had died far too young. For Wylie who had lost someone he had truly begun to care for. She cried for Jane too, for the man who was still far too broken with everything that had happened to truly be fixed.

When Lisbon had woken up the next morning she'd almost felt hungover though she hadn't taken a sip of alcohol. She had a bad taste in her mouth and her stomach was roiling, she finally managed to sit up but that just made it worse. Finally she couldn't help it any longer and ran to the bathroom to vomit in her toilet.

She stayed on the cool tile floor as she waited for her stomach to settle, it took a while but eventually she could get to feet even if she was a little shaky. A few minutes later Lisbon sipped some water in her kitchen, working to get that terrible taste out of her mouth. She looked at her phone.

No calls. No texts.

She wasn't surprised; Jane never contacted her when he disappeared.

Lisbon scrounged around for something to eat, toast would work. But she couldn't only manage a few bites before she tossed it aside, her stomach still rolling like the ocean. She went to her bathroom to find some Pepto Bismal but there was nothing in her medicine cabinet.

The pharmacy it is.

Lisbon mused about the irony of this situation as she made the short drive over. Jane had always prodded her to take better care of herself, the second he leaves and she falls apart with a stomach bug. She made her way down the aisles as she searched for the medicine, past cosmetics and shaving needs, then family planning.

She paused then.

No, that was a stupid thought. She had a stomach bug, maybe the flu. She was on the pill for god's sake.

Still she did the mental math to make absolutely sure. Her last period was on the 15th and today was…oh shit!

It wasn't possible, she was on the pill, that was supposed to work. Of course the chaos with Abbott had been problematic, that and Jane not being honest with her about the hitman. But she hadn't forgotten to take it…had she?

She'd taken it, she was certain. So Lisbon shook her head and headed straight for the anti-nausea meds. She grabbed a bottle of the familiar pink liquid and headed straight for the register. Only to stop, turn around and go back to family planning.

She wasn't pregnant, but she had to be absolutely sure.

That was how Lisbon found herself in her bathroom reading over the directions of the pregnancy test and marveling that she was even in this situation. This was never something she had imagined would happen. First it had been find the right guy, then plan out the first child. Then that dream had quietly been put on the backburner indefinitely and as far as she knew it still was. Of course Jane would be the one to throw a monkey wrench in that scenario.

Lisbon did her business on the stick and waited for the results. She chewed on a fingernail while waiting, her eyes turning to the mirror. What would she look like pregnant? That was an image she couldn't even imagine. A big bellied FBI agent can't chase down suspects, Jane would love that, she wouldn't be in the field for a while.

If she was pregnant would she just quit? Go with Jane and leave? Lisbon wasn't sure if she could do that though, she loved her job too much and she had a feeling she'd be bored just sitting around somewhere. Not even her mother had been a stay-at-home mom, that just wasn't a life for her.

She glanced at her watch and saw it was time to read the results. Her heart pounded as she picked up the test and flipped it over to look in the tiny window. It took a moment for it to register what she was seeing but there it was.

A tiny plus sign.

Slightly faint but still visible.

Lisbon grabbed the box to look at the instructions once more. _A faint positive is still a positive._

Positive.

Positive!

She dropped the test in the sink and stepped back until she felt the wall behind her. Then she sank down to the floor, unsure if her legs could hold her up anymore. It was real, she was really pregnant. It was overwhelming and unbelievable and…and wonderful.

Lisbon couldn't help but smile, covering her mouth with her hand as tears fell from her eyes. Wow she was going to be a mother, she'd stopped believing that it would happen but here it was. She would have a baby and Jane would be a father again.

Jane!

The thought of him gave her the necessary push to get up off the floor and hurry to her living room so she could grab her cell phone. She needed to call him, he had to know!

The phone rang…and rang…and rang…and rang. Finally she heard the automated voice telling her that Jane couldn't answer her call…or wouldn't.

Lisbon through about leaving a message but decided against it. She would call him again later. He just needed some time, maybe tonight he'd call her back.

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That afternoon Lisbon was getting a little overwhelmed now. She called her doctor and made an appointment the next morning to confirm everything and get all of the info she would need. Then she had to field a few calls from Abbott and Cho, both of whom were worried that Jane had left. She did what she could to assure them that Jane just needed time to deal with it, they all did.

After that she sat at her laptop and looked up what she needed to know. Three hours later she was panicking more than a little and had gone through her entire kitchen throwing out anything that was on the "do not eat" list. It really hurt to say goodbye to her coffee but apparently she really had to cut back on her caffeine. It didn't help that at her age, she was considered somewhat risky. Of course all of the stories of ectopic pregnancies, miscarriages, down syndrome and still births only instilled her with absolute terror.

She needed someone to take her aside and let her know it would be all right.

So she picked up her phone again to call Jane.

The phone rang…and rang…and rang…and rang. And again the automated voice told her Jane wouldn't answer her call.

Lisbon put the phone away with tears spilling down her cheeks. She tried to tell herself that it would be okay, that Jane would call her soon. She wouldn't have to go through this alone. But it was a poor comfort as she curled up in her bed to try and get some sleep.

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Oddly enough her doctor's appointment did a lot to calm her down.

Dr. Connelly assured her that women older than her had had healthy babies and she was perfectly healthy. Her due date was at the end of October and her blood work was perfect. She was given a prescription for vitamins and another list of things she couldn't eat. She was also informed that a cup of coffee a day was fine, but _just_ one and only decaf after that.

That one hurt.

But there was also a sonogram. Tiny, barely visible, but a little itty-bitty peanut. That was the baby, her perfect and beautiful baby.

She went home and stared at the sonogram for a while, marveling that there was actually a little baby inside of her. Finally, her heart pounding once more, she picked up the phone to call Jane.

Once again the phone rang…and rang…and rang…and rang. When the automated voice came on she started to sob and tossed the phone away.

Oh God! What if he was dead? What if he'd gotten messed up in something horrible? What if he'd finally decided to end it all? How could she be able to raise this baby on her own?

She cried herself to sleep again, praying silently that Jane lived…for her and their baby's sake.

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A week later Lisbon got to do something she'd always wanted: put an APB out on Jane. But she was still afraid that they wouldn't find him alive, that is until a sheriff called and said he'd picked Jane up right outside the Grand Canyon.

Then her fears melted away to anger…that was something that was a lot easier to handle.

When she saw Jane again she felt relief, there was no denying that she was so glad he was there and alive. But she was still mad. Actually she was pissed. How dare he just up and leave and not take her calls. Didn't he realize what that did to her?

So as he sat across from her she let him know exactly how she felt. How scared she'd been and how upset she was. He told her he was sorry, but he was going through "something right now". He needed time.

How much time?

She couldn't leave, not now, not when all he offered was an obscure future. She needed a real plan, their baby needed a real home and a life.

So she kept her lips sealed. She would tell Jane when he was ready. Until then she would wait.

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When Jane went missing she panicked. He was gone, kidnapped by a serial killer and she had no way to know if he would make it out of this alive. He had no idea that she was pregnant.

Oh God, what if he never saw their child?

Lisbon tried to stay calm, tried to not be so anxious. It was bad for the baby and if Jane survived this then he was going to have another child, she wasn't going to lose this one. She didn't care about her job, it could go to hell for all she cared. She just wanted Jane back.

Finding him in that half blown up house was horrifying…but he was alive. And he promised never to put her through something like that again. She would make sure he kept that promise.

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When he took her to the little shack she didn't know what to think. But he was putting down roots. That was great, that was what she needed…mostly. Still, Lisbon knew there was more. He still wore his ring, he still kept that symbol of devotion to his family.

His first family.

That was fine. She knew she couldn't replace them and she didn't want to. But she wanted to know that he was moving on, that he could devote himself fully to _their_ family.

The truth was she was still afraid he would leave again, shack or not. She would need more than this. Just a little more time.

She could wait a little longer to tell him.

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When she noticed his ring was gone she couldn't believe it. He shrugged it off with a simple "I'm not married". Followed by a breathtakingly beautiful speech about how he saw it not just as a life he'd had before but also the life that led him to _her. _ He wanted it to symbolize their future.

The he asked her to marry him.

She was stunned and somehow managed to stammer out an "Okay," as I all sank in. Then she wondered…did he know? Did he ask her because she was pregnant and he knew she'd say yes?

But Jane told her he was surprised by her answer…that he still couldn't figure her out. She studied him and could tell he was being honest. He really wasn't sure she'd say yes or no…and he didn't know about her little secret.

Lisbon thought about telling him then but she held back, for a good reason this time. She wanted it to be a surprise, a wedding present. They would get married in a few days and she would tell him afterwards.

One last little secret.

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She honestly thought Jane would figure her out when he found her crying in Abbott's backyard. She never cried. Ever. But here she was crying because her small perfect wedding had morphed into a grotesque monster wedding that she despised.

But Jane didn't seem to know. Instead he calmed her down and told her that hey could ditch this shindig and elope like they had originally planned. Getting married at the shack was a great idea! Better than standing up in Abbott's yard in front of God knew how many people.

Of course then he had to drop the bombshell that Lazarus was alive and out to get him.

It was a wedding with Jane, why wouldn't a serial killer show up?

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Finally the wedding came. The _real_ wedding, after stopping Lazarus in her wedding dress Lisbon felt ready to face anything. In the end it was simple, beautiful and perfect. Only those she knew and loved where there to hug her and Jane and wish them well. Then they all were ready to bust a few moves to celebrate.

She and Jane got their first dance and pulled in the requisite celebrations with the cake and the champagne that she took exactly _one_ sip of, just for appearances.

And when Jane suggested that they take a walk she agreed.

Then they sat down to watch their friends and family celebrating and she never felt such peace. Such contentment. He was hers, he was happy…he was free.

It was time to tell him.

So she smiled and said. "I have something to tell you."

But she didn't know how to say it, it was too much. So she just put a hand over her stomach and hoped he got the message.

And then he did.

His eyes lit up with surprise, a little fear but mostly…hope. "No you-you're kidding me…"

She shook her head. "I'm not kidding."

"You are?"

Lisbon nodded. She couldn't stop smiling. "I am."

Jane was obviously stunned but his smile was the brightest she had ever seen. And when he kissed her and held her close she realized how much this baby must mean to him. It wasn't just a second child or even a second chance. This was closing that chapter of his life, the worst one. This was hope for a brighter future.

This was true redemption.

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A/N: What a beautiful ending to a beautiful show. But I don't think it truly ends there. I will be here writing until my muse stops (which will probably be in about 1000 years). So enjoy. I have more fics for you guys and many I need to finish. Just remember, fandoms can exist without their show, it shows how truly special we are. Celebrate what we have, we got something that many don't.


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